Going though the words and motions of forgiveness is a horse of a different color than the forgetting part. My human side can reconcile with the one who hurt me, but the mouse riding the wheel in my head hums the hurt over and over. Forgetting is nearly impossible! It’s like riding a unicycle backwards while juggling. Impossible!However, if you can bring yourself to forgive and forget you will enjoy lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system and less stress hormones floating in your blood. You’ll reduce the anger, bitterness, resentment, depression and other negative emotions that accompany the failure to forgive. Sounds like good emotional balance to me! So how do you do it?
I found that forgetting involves remembering graciously. It means remembering the painful parts, but without puffing them up with angry adjectives that quicken the resentment again. In other words, play it down, not up.It involves the practice of gratitude -- the active effort to acknowledge what's good in your life. Gratitude is simply focusing your thoughts on the positive things that have happened. Aw, C'mon, there are plenty of amazing things happening in your life that you can "zero in" on. That creates a biochemical experience that makes it more likely that forgiveneess witll occur. Hmmm, biochemical experience. I like the sound of that :0)
Good luck Grasshopper!