Friday, April 8, 2011

Notewordy

Where did the week go? I blinked and it’s Friday. Just as basketball season ended, volleyball has started along with the school-year wind down; lots of projects at work and home. Keeping busy is a blessing because it’s a sign that your body and mind are healthy, working and agile.


Now back to my love of words and the yearly Mensa contest where readers were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. I guess you could say I find these “notewordy.” My definition of notewordy (adj.) is, significant words worth mentioning. I am amazed at how creative the human mind can be! I am sure these will give you a smile. Here are my favorite winners:

Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Ha!

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