I can’t tell if it is a He or a She.
When my son was four, we were checking out at the market, he loudly asked, while pointing at the checker, “Does she have a penis?” I wasn’t sure myself.
This refers to that group of adults and children s who mumble when they talk. For example, in Fourth Grade some kids verbally bellow out their assigned paragraph in Island of the Blue Dolphins, while others make me wish I owned Miracle Ear. Please speak loud and clear.
Repeating Myself. Repeating Myself.
No. No. No. Stop asking, “no” does not mean “maybe!” (See, I am not a mealy mouth)
I end up sitting on them, makes typing difficult
Clean clothes are necessary, but folding is that extra step I hate. What are a few wrinkles as long as you don’t smell?
Poop on the rug
Mostly pets, but once my toddler pooped on the driveway. He should not have been off leash.
My solution? Marry an Engineer, they live for this stuff.
Everything is Translated
While playing a game of SORRY! over the weekend, we had a dispute, I reached for the rules. They were all in Spanish! LO SIENTO!! (FYI: That means "I'm sorry" in Spanish)
The Electric Bill in December
$215!! Christmas spirit should come with a discount
Stinky Dog Breath
Why won’t my dogs eat the yummy eucalyptus breath chewies I bought? These treats could not taste any worse than the dog excrement I see them eating.
In Grown Toenails
Pedicures should not lead to a $30 co-pay
It is none of your business what other people think about you