Monday, July 27, 2009

I blog, Therefore, I am.


I am trying to understand why people blog. The obsession to write about one’s thoughts and to then to think that the world, or even one single person will care, feels, well, self-centered to me. Why not just keep a private journal? Why go public? I mentioned my blog idea to my sister and she asked, “what for?” I asked myself the same question, “Why blog?” My girlfriend blogs daily, about her life, personal thoughts, and family. She is part of the answer to that question. Apparently blogging is a positive thing. She is hooked on blogging, making it a personal goal to write everyday. I admire her for that commitment.

So I ask myself, who really cares what I think, “Why blog?”. Maybe my mother will read it? Aren’t mothers supposed to care? Maybe my In-laws in Kentucky will read it? They could gain a window into our life in California. They are so far away, and a blog might give some details of their son and grandsons.

After contemplating, “Why blog?” the answer for me is this. I will blog to get me in the groove of writing. Anyone who really, really knows me knows that I wish to write. Years ago, when I shared my desire to write with a friend they told me that “a writer is someone who writes, therefore you are a writer”. I wish. I have oodles of subject ideas based on life experience that are unique, funny and entertaining. A child with heart problems, an eating disorder and a house fire are unlikely events that I have survived. They changed me, they changed my life.
The discipline of putting my thoughts on paper has been the biggest challenge for me. Maybe I am lazy? More likely, I fear there is little worth in my words. I know, I know low self-esteem. Welcome to my human side. But, maybe I am wrong. How else will I find out the truth if I don’t start putting pen to paper, or fingers to key board? I want to start believing in myself more and this is my itty-bitty step into my personal goals. This is my baby blog. This is my start. Stay tuned, Mom.